...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
