just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i came on her dog
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
