She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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