I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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