i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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