Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
