Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize