That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
