im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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