I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
