are you so shy because you have an std?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
