I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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