I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
