i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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