like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
