We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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