I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
