He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
