I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
