the condom got lost in my hair
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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