Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
