can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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