think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The adults are the big ones right?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
