I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I will die if light touches me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
