we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
