Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She said her name was "party"
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
