Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
