So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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