Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
