i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
