That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Randomize
