last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
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