Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
