Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
