i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
