i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
