tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
