I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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