Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
