fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
