Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize