i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
