so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
