Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
