I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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