"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
