ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
