I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
