That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
