you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
