"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
