Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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