The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
where are you?
Hypothermia
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
